Lately I feel like I’ve been stuck in a season of waiting. My husband and I have been dreaming of putting down roots in the Pacific Northwest since the first time we visited Oregon seven years ago. While we are just months away from making that goal a reality – we hope to buy a house sometime this summer – we are still in transition. In addition to waiting as we search for the right house, I spent the fall waiting to get an appointment with a doctor about a health concern I was dealing with, spent the winter waiting for medical tests, and am now spending the spring waiting to fully recover from surgery.
It’s not uncommon for couples to have an income gap between partners – in fact, it's the norm. According to data from Morning Consult and Insider, nearly three-quarters of Americans reported they had some income imbalance with their partner before they started dating. And while that imbalance can flip-flop as partners change jobs or receive a raise or bonus, at times it can be significant. This might happen when one partner retires, decides to go back to school, or opts to stay at home with the kids. This might also happen when one partner gets a big promotion or receives a large inheritance. How can you manage your finances so this imbalance in income doesn’t throw your relationship off balance? Consider these steps:
I’m a big fan of the Financial Feminist podcast. A few weeks ago the host, Tori Dunlap, shared a money hack that she had heard about from another financial educator on Science Finance: Before making an impulse purchase, ask yourself: “How many ‘taco dollars’ does it cost?” That particular financial educator really loved tacos, so he judged each purchase by asking, “How many tacos could I buy for the cost of that item?” Concert tickets: 20 tacos. Cupcake: 1 taco. Fancy hotel stay: 83 tacos. Then, he would ask himself: “Is it really worth that many tacos?”
My last post on things that can jumpstart your financial life in 5 minutes or less got me thinking about one of the most effective steps I ever took during our marriage: asking my husband an icebreaker question about our life together. That word icebreaker is key: these are questions designed to get conversation going, not shut it down. And that means the question has to be open-ended and asked with a spirit of genuine curiosity of learning what your partner thinks.
Long-time readers of this blog are familiar with the four money personalities I discuss: the giver, the saver, the spender, and the acquirer. Over time, though, I’ve learned that while people tend to understand the first three, they often stumble over the last one. On first blush, people generally thought the “acquirer” referred to someone who liked to accumulate or collect things. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The acquirer was someone focused on how money came into their life, not what was done with the money after it was received.
Saving money isn’t easy. Most people’s minds go directly to pinching pennies – needing to eat out less, give up buying coffee, or buying used instead of new. While these lifestyle changes can be really helpful, what if you investing a few hours and making a few small changes could have a big impact on your budget and give your savings a large boost?
I don’t know about you but the thought of stepping back sets off my internal alarm bells. I’m a big fan of getting things done, crossing items off my to-do list, and constantly moving forward. But I think this addiction to forward motion can often get us stuck in a hamster wheel. We keep running – thinking we’re moving forward – when in fact we are just spinning our wheels. If we do in fact move forward, we may find ourselves stepping further and further away from our intended destination because we aren’t willing to course correct.
A few weekends ago, I attend the BossedUp Trainer Certification Program with a bunch of other amazing entrepreneurs, side hustlers, and all around boss ladies. During lunch, I sat next to another trainer who asked: “What do you recommend for people with student loan debt? This is a critical issue and it doesn’t seem like many financial advisors are paying attention to it.” I have to agree. While most financial professionals understand that student loan debt is a critical issue not many people in the financial industry have a lot of recommendations for how to handle this debt well.
A few weeks ago, I listened to an amazing podcast on Intersectional Feminism. Prior to listening to this podcast, I never realized how much the traditional feminist movement had done to privilege white, heteronormative voices. I was amazed and ashamed. But I think my biggest takeaway from listening to this podcast was how important it is to be willing to step back, check your privilege, and be “called in” when you unintentionally exclude the experience of others.
What financial milestones are you hoping to achieve over the course of your life? As I’ve said before, I think the cookie cutter milestones of getting married, buying a house, adopting a dog, having 2.5 kids, and retiring are a bit overrated. However, I think the practice of crafting your own financial milestones that really align with your lifestyle, values, and goals – even if it includes some or all of those more conventional milestones – is highly underrated.
In December 2016, right before Christmas, a work colleague of mine’s house and garage burned down taking everything in the house – including his family’s Christmas gifts – with it. Luckily, he, his wife, and three kids were all unharmed. When my office heard about the accident, we were eager to help. His team arranged a company-wide potluck and began accepting donations of money and gift cards to aid his family. When I heard about the tragedy I wanted to help too. But, I took a look at our budget and realized that we didn’t have a lot of money to spare that month. I talked to my husband and we decided to give a small gift card, but it broke my heart that we couldn’t do more.
Have you ever looked at homes online and found that the estimated mortgage was less than the amount you are paying in rent? Maybe you’ve wondered why you’re throwing your money away on a rental when you could be building equity in your own home? In today’s post, I want to take a look at the real cost of buying and owning a home. Wondering whether owning a home is right for you? Check out last week’s post.
The other day I was out for drinks with a friend and he mentioned that he was considering buying a house and he was wondering how much he should spend on it. In other words, what percentage of his budget should go toward a house. For those of you who are curious, conventional wisdom says that you should spend no more than 28% of your budget on a mortgage. But, I found myself wanting to take the conversation a few steps back - as I often do - to ask the question why do you want to buy a house in the first place? Are you sure that buying a house is the next right step for you? That’s the question that I want to get at in today’s “Ask The Classy Frugalist” post.
I’ve heard it said that there are two ways to create more flexibility in your budget – reduce spending or increase your income. Too often we focus on the subtraction side of the equation – what can I cut back on? I think for many of us that’s a fine place to start. But, have you really stopped to consider the other side of the equation – how would you increase your income? Particularly, how might you increase your income from your current employer?
As I mentioned in last week’s post, when my husband and I first got married I was more of the “money” person in our relationship. He was happy to let me just handle the money and I was happy to put my skills into practice. And, if I’m honest, I think I was happy to keep control over at least one area of our relationship. Now, I’d like to share with you a few things that I’ve learned as I’ve relinquished control of our money life and started to listen.
Here are a few valuable lessons that I’ve learned from Mr. Classy Frugalist:
We’ve all heard that money is one of the leading causes of stress in relationships. I’ve seen this stress emerge from talking about money too much, not talking about it at all, and everything in between. So, what can couples do to reduce the stress? I suggest they stop, take a deep breath, and spend time listing to their partner. What are his or her fears? What are his or her goals? What can you learn from him or her?
I’m not saying this is easy. Most of us have different money personalities than our partner – maybe one of you is a spender and one is a saver. In the case of my husband and I, I would really love to give all of our money away and my husband can think of a million ways to spend it. If you have a different money personality than your partner, how do you meet in the middle?
It happened to me.
About six weeks ago, my business partner and I were driving back from a wonderful day of speaking to leaders in East-Central Wisconsin. When we were about two hours out from Minneapolis, I looked at my phone and saw that I had five missed calls from my husband. Now my husband is the type of guy who rarely calls twice in a row – why would he call five times? I called him back and was greeted by the voice of a paramedic who assured that my husband was breathing and conscious but he had been injured in a serious car accident. I immediately fell apart. As someone who travels often my worst fears had been realized. He was hurt and I wasn’t there to be beside him when he needed me. My business partner and I continued the longest two hour drive of our lives inching ever closer to my husband’s side.
About a month ago my aunt posted a picture on Facebook of my grandparents before going to prom night at their senior living community. They were each dressed up in their finest and they looked so happy to enjoy the evening with each other and their friends. I think this photo is a great representation of what retirement looks like to me. Retirement isn’t about buying a yacht, traveling, or even the ability to sleep in. It’s not about what you’ll buy or even what you’ll do, it’s about making the most of the time you have with the people you love.
Summer is officially here! So, I thought I’d bring something a little lighter to the blog. For many people, summer is the season of vacations. As you probably can already tell, I’m a huge travel fan. Adventure is near the top of my husband and I’s values lists. And, I’ve had the blessing of traveling about 30% of the time for my job the last three years so I’ve picked up a few tricks and tips.
This week I'm excited to share with you a guest post from one of my favorite personal finance coaches, educators, and bloggers: Michelle Boss (aka The Money Boss). Michelle and I met while she was creating her Your Money Matters podcast series this spring. I was privileged to be a part of this series with so many other wonderful financial educators and coaches. I asked Michelle to share how she's connecting her money and her values to create a fulfilling life. I'm excited for you to hear a new perspective and get connected to all of Michelle's great resources. Join me in welcoming Michelle Boss to the Classy Frugalist blog!
How many times per week or even per day do you stop to check the price of something? You might stop to compare prices between two different brands of paper towels at the grocery store. You might surf the internet for a good deal on a vacation flight. You might compare the price of a book on Amazon between the new and used selection. You might scan a toy at Target to see how much it costs before you step up to the cash register. We spend a lot of time checking prices and searching for the best deal. But how often do we step back and check the value on an item or experience before we purchase it?
Let’s say you’re looking for a new credit card and you’re considering a travel credit card. How do you know if it will be worth it? Is there a certain amount of travel that you should be doing to make the perks and the cost of the card worth it?
Following my recent series on credit cards, Beth asked just this question. She writes, “Every week I find I receive at least one piece of mail encouraging me to get a new credit card. I've considered a Southwest or other airline-related card that would help me accumulate airline miles, but have never felt I travel enough to justify the upfront or yearly cost associated with it (I admit I did rough math on this!). I travel maybe 4-5 times per year on an airplane. For those of us not always interested in doing the math calculations, do you have an average of how much travel would justify getting a flight miles related card?”
This week I'm sharing something different. What you'll see below is a post that I wrote for the Center for Stewardship Leaders' weekly newsletter. As some of you may know, I had the pleasure of working for this Center for three and a half years while I was a student, and later a staff member, at Luther Seminary. I learned the most about money and how to connect it to your values while I was at seminary. It was a pleasure to revisit that time of my life and share the story of this blog's evolution with that audience. I hope that you will enjoy this article, too!
Do you ever feel like you are fast-tracked on a one-way bullet train to a life you never consciously chose? You’re supposed to go to college, get a job, find the love of your life, get married, buy a house, adopt a dog, have 2.5 kids, and retire at age 65. But, what if that’s not the life you have or even the life you want?
As you can probably tell, I’m a bit of a financial nerd. But, you may not know exactly why – is it because I’ve learned a lot of tips for living large on a small budget? Is it because I enjoy the challenge of doing my own taxes? Or, is it because I’ve found the secret to getting out of student loan debt quickly? While all of these things are true, none of these are the real reason. My passion for money comes from one single discovery. Money, when used intentionally, can become a tool to help me better live out my values in the world.
