Date Night Club (February 2022): Examining Implied Expectations

 

This month we're taking a look at expectation vs. reality when it comes to money and relationships.

Take a Bite:

  • What's one expectation of your partner that you brought into your marriage (or your long-term relationship) that didn't match up to reality?

  • What's one expectation you brought into your marriage (or your long-term relationship) that you're still maintaining?

DATE NIGHT MATERIALS LIST:

  • Copy of your budget

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15 MINUTE SNACK: DO YOU HAVE IMPLIED FINANCIAL EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR PARTNER?

Whether we like it or not, most of us go into a marriage (or long-term relationship) with expectations for our partner and our finances. It can be uncomfortable to bring these implied expectations into the light, but doing so can help us consider whether these expectations are still serving us and our relationship as well as make sure we're on the same page about our financial goals.

First, take a look through these statements with yourself in mind. Which of these statements are true/false for you:

  • My partner's debt (if any) is their sole responsibility and my debt (if any) is my sole responsibility.

  • All of the money I make belongs to me.

  • My partner will check-in with me about any purchase over $100.

  • My partner will always make at least the amount of money they are making today.

Now, let's play the Newlywed Game. Look back through the statements above and consider how your partner would respond. Share your partner's answers aloud and see if you're right or wrong.

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If you like, you can take this month's topic deeper ...

MAKE IT A MEAL: APPLY WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED

While the Newlywed Game may seem a little silly, it's vital that you and your partner are clear about any expectations you are bringing to your shared financial life. If you had any disagreements, take the time to discuss your expectations of one another. Are there other financial expectations you have that aren't listed? Discuss those as well.

MONTHLY BUDGET CHECK-IN

Take a moment to look back at last month's budget together.

  • Did you stay on track?

  • If you got off track, what 1-2 steps can you each take to get back on track again?

  • Did any surprises come up - positive or negative?

  • Take a look over the expenses, did the way you used your money align with your values?

  • What changes will you make for next month?

  • How are we doing with the things we decided to continue doing, start doing, and stop doing?