Date Night Club (October 2020): Financial Facepalms

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I’m guessing you’ve heard of Enron—one of the principal examples of corporate fraud and corruption. Enron filed for bankruptcy in 2001. But did you know that many of the company’s executives encouraged employees to invest ALL of their retirement savings in the company’s stock? When the company went under so did their savings.

This month we’re talking about those financial facepalm moments whether it’s a big mistake like mis-investing your retirement account or something small like splurging a little too much at Target. We all have made financial mistakes—sometimes it’s all our fault, other times not so much. This month, I’ll teach you how to own those mistakes and learn from them without burying yourself in guilt.

Here's why this month's topic is so important ...

Take a Bite:

What financial facepalm have you seen a friend or family member make?

DATE NIGHT MATERIALS LIST:

  • A copy of last month’s budget (if you plan to do a budget check-in)

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15 MINUTE SNACK:
COACHABLE MOMENTS

NOTE: If you only have 15 minutes, just go through one person’s story and save the other person’s story for another time. If you have more than 15 minutes, try to go through both.

Ready to turn your financial stumbles into strengths? Work through this role-playing activity. Depending on where you are at with your relationship with each other and with money, you may still have some skeletons in your closet that you haven’t unveiled yet. I encourage you to work toward cleaning those out one step at a time. For the sake of this week’s activity, choose a financial facepalm that you feel comfortable talking about with your partner. Feel free to return to this activity again with new financial financial facepalms, or old ones when they are ready to come out of the closet. If you don’t have a mistake to work through, that’s ok. Don’t manufacture one. Just get to know the process for the next time a mistake comes up.

  1. Decide on a financial mistake that you’d like to work through with your partner.

  2. Play “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner is Partner A, the loser is Partner B. Partner A will begin by playing the “coach” and Partner B will be the “coachee.”

  3. Partner A ask Partner B the following questions:

    • In one sentence, what’s the financial facepalm you made?

    • What’s the full story? Walk me through the whole story from start to finish. 

    • Why did you make the mistake?

    • Was it all your fault or were there other people (or forces) at play?

    • How did you react to the mistake then? How do you react to it now?

    • What are three things you learned from making this mistake? (Encourage your partner to come up with at least three things.)

    • What can you (or do you) do differently to make sure you don’t make the same mistake again? (If your partner isn’t sure, give them a little time to think about it and ask if they want help coming up with suggestions)

  4. Reverse, reverse - now walk through the activity with Partner B as the “coach” and Partner A as the “coachee”.

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If you like, you can take this month's topic deeper ...

MAKE IT A MEAL: APPLY WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED TO YOUR CURRENT BUDGET

Often our financial facepalm moments can leave us with the sting of financial guilt. Are you or your partner feeling mired in financial guilt? Check out this week’s blog post to learn more about financial guilt—where it comes from and how to get away from it. For those experiencing financial guilt question 3d is a really important one. Most times we centralize ourselves with our financial facepalms forgetting that there are lots of reasons why mistakes happen. It’s not always all our fault. And, even when it is, we can still learn from it and be stronger for it.

MONTHLY BUDGET CHECK-IN

Take a moment to look back at last month's budget together.

  • Did you stay on track?

  • If you got off track, what 1-2 steps can you each take to get back on track again?

  • Did any surprises come up - positive or negative?

  • Take a look over the expenses, did the way you used your money align with your values?

  • What changes will you make for next month?