Date Night Club (May 2020): Spender and Saver

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This month’s topic is an ode to spender/saver couples – the most popular money personality combo. Aren’t in a spender/saver relationship? No worries – you’ll still get something out of this month’s date.
 
Ever feel like you’re in a tug of war over today’s budget? One of you wants to focus on saving, the other on spending, and you can never seem to find an appropriate middle? This month’s date will help you better understand where each other is coming from and the ultimate goal you’re each trying to achieve so you can find the middle ground together.
 

Here's why this month's topic is so important ...

Take a Bite:

What’s one experience that encapsulates why you are a spender or a saver?

DATE NIGHT MATERIALS LIST:

  • A place to take notes – electronically or on paper

  • A copy of last month’s budget

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15 MINUTE SNACK:
ENGAGING THE HEAD & THE HEART


No two spenders/savers are alike. Let your partner inside your head and your heart when it comes to spending/saving. We’ll begin with the heart:

  1. Take a few minutes to consider:

    1. What brings you joy about spending/saving?

    2. Is there an underlying fear that motivates your spending/saving?

  1. Share your answers with your partner

  2. Now, let’s bring it into the head space and unearth your ultimate goal behind your spending/saving inclination with a little twist – this time roles will be reversed. Given what you just heard from your partner, I want you to consider these questions:

    1. If your partner had 100% control over the money in your joint and separate accounts, what changes would he/she make?

    2. What would make your partner feel satisfied in the area of saving/spending? In other words, what ultimate goal is he/she trying to achieve? (If you need to, think about what might be satisfying now, and what might be satisfying 10 years from now.)

  3. Share your answers to these questions with your partner.

  4. Now, consider these questions from your own perspective and offer feedback to your partner on the responses he/she gave.

  5. Are your goals and motivations as different as you thought?

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If you like, you can take this month's topic deeper ...

MAKE IT A MEAL: APPLY WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED TO YOUR CURRENT BUDGET

  1. Do you think your budget includes enough spending/saving? What adjustments would you make?

  2. Make any adjustments you just discussed to your budget.

  3. Finding you don’t have enough money to make that happen?

    1. Can you increase your income?

    2. Are there other categories that you could cut – particularly in your fixed costs (utilities, subscriptions, groceries, etc.) – to free you up for more spending/saving?

    3. Are there things you could focus on (like repaying high interest debt or accruing a short-term emergency fund) so that once that goal is complete you can find more money to save/spend?


Looking for more advice on tackling your Spender vs. Saver dynamic? Check out this blog post.

MONTHLY BUDGET CHECK-IN

Take a moment to look back at last month's budget together.

  • Did you stay on track?

  • If you got off track, what 1-2 steps can you each take to get back on track again?

  • Did any surprises come up - positive or negative?

  • Take a look over the expenses, did the way you used your money align with your values?

  • What changes will you make for next month?