Over the last month or so that we’ve been staying at home, I’ve enjoyed watching the general theme on my Instagram change from a focus on hustle and productivity to one of gratitude and self-care. This time of collective trauma has taught us to have grace with ourselves and others.
For instance, just because you have all the time at home you could have ever wanted, that doesn’t mean your house needs to be immaculate, you have to cross every item off your perpetual to-do list, or it’s the right time to start a side hustle. If you feel inspired and motivated to do those things, that’s great. But my hope is that most us are using this time to reconnect with ourselves and those we care about most in ways we haven’t before. We’re finding ways to grieve, cope, heal, and be thankful even for the smallest things. Many of us are learning (or re-learning) how to care for ourselves in the midst of trauma — and our finances are no exception.
Looking for a little financial self-care? Try out one (or more) of these ideas:
· Make a Gratitude List: It’s easy right now to focus more on what you don’t have (and things you aren’t able to do) rather than focusing on what’s right in front of you. Take some time to make a list of the things you’re grateful for financially: a safe place to live, money in the bank, a working vehicle, a retirement plan, fresh produce in the fridge ... no item is too small to list. Give yourself 10 minutes to jot down as many things as you can.
Tip: Do this activity together with your partner (or as a family if you have kids) — they will likely think of things you hadn’t considered. Keep this list handy so you can review it the next time you’re feeling anxious.
· Review Your Savings: This is a great time to take stock of (and feel good about) what you have saved. Be sure to account for emergency savings, retirement accounts, bank savings, high-yield savings accounts, the coins in your coin jar — anywhere you have money stashed away. While it can be hard to spend your hard-earned savings, take comfort that if you need it, it’s there for you.
Tip: Do your best to make this a judgement-free zone. This isn’t about comparing yourself to others or comparing your retirement account to where it was pre-stock market dip. Focus on where you are today and how hard you’ve worked to get there.
· Play “Worst-Case Scenario”: Really … self-care? Yes, absolutely! If you are feeling anxious about your finances, it can be helpful to play out the what might happen if the bottom falls out. If you were laid off from your job, what would you do? Where could you cut corners? What savings could you use? Could you make it work living off just one income? If you or your partner got sick and needed to be quarantined for two weeks, would you be prepared? What food would you have? What would you do for health insurance? Would you have paid time off from work you could cash in?
Tip: Instead of going off the deep end, ask yourself a series of questions. If “X” happened, what would I do first? What would I do next? Play this out until you reach a solution. Write it down. Likely, the worst case isn’t as scary as you imagined it would be.
· Envision Your Fulfilling Life: Now is a good time to step back and reflect: What’s your vision of a fulfilling life? What might it take to get you there? Use this blog post to work together with your partner to craft a vision that fits both of your ideals.
Tip: Mapping out your life vision feeling a bit overwhelming right now? Start with one goal. A few ideas: Plan out your dream vacation. Figure out what it would take to quit your job and work on your side hustle full-time. Make a plan to repay your debt. Spend time visualizing your life once this goal is complete and mapping out a realistic plan to make it happen.
· Focus on Helping Others: One of the most unique parts of COVID-19 is that we are literally all in this together. Paying attention to how others are helping out — whether that’s making masks or contributing to those who are making grab-and-go meals for the homeless — might inspire you. No matter your financial situation, it’s good to remember that we all have something we can give, even if it isn’t money.
Tip: Check out this comprehensive list of ways you can help!
· Get on the Same Financial Page with Your Partner: This doesn’t have to be stressful — make it a fun date night in. Set the tone with your favorite music, your favorite beverages, and a special treat to enjoy. Establishing this habit while you’re in close quarters can pay dividends when your schedules and spending patterns return to normal.
Tip: Use one of my Date Night Club templates to help you dig in to the topic of your choice. I’d suggest starting with the one for this month, which can help you find your strengths as a couple.
· Remember Your Financial Toolbox: While this may be the first pandemic, it probably isn’t the first financial challenge you’ve faced. Sometimes it’s helpful to remember the tough times you’ve experienced and how you got through them. Think of these as tools in your financial toolbox.
Tip: Even if your partner isn’t naturally a “financial person,” they have tools they are bringing to the table, too. Acknowledging these together can help you see your collective strength to take on whatever comes your way. That’s what this month’s Date Night Club is all about.
How are you caring for yourself during this chaotic time?