Lately I feel like I’ve been stuck in a season of waiting. My husband and I have been dreaming of putting down roots in the Pacific Northwest since the first time we visited Oregon seven years ago. While we are just months away from making that goal a reality – we hope to buy a house sometime this summer – we are still in transition. In addition to waiting as we search for the right house, I spent the fall waiting to get an appointment with a doctor about a health concern I was dealing with, spent the winter waiting for medical tests, and am now spending the spring waiting to fully recover from surgery.
Don’t get me wrong – I feel very privileged to be inches from buying a home in my dream place and for getting the surgery that I needed. That being said, while making progress towards a goal can be rewarding, it can also feel a bit like wandering in the desert. And over time, energy and motivation begins to wane.
I’ve come to realize our financial life has been in “waiting mode” since spring 2020. During the pandemic we shifted gears so we could focus our savings on the big move and buying a house. I have no regrets about that, but I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit how often I wistfully look back at my pre-2020 pictures of the travel, food, and concerts we enjoyed.
A few weeks ago, when I was feeling at my most stuck, I listened to an episode of the Financial Feminist podcast. Host Tori Dunlap asked her listeners to imagine focusing their financial lives around the three things they value most. I immediately thought of travel, food, and generosity. While our focus on food and generosity has continued, travel has moved to the far back burner. Though there are certainly some travel elements to a move, it’s not exactly what I had in mind, and while owning a house would be somewhere on my top 10 list it’s not anywhere near the top.
This was an “aha moment” for me. I finally realized why I felt stuck and honestly a bit frustrated even though I knew we were making progress: We were putting everything we could toward this big goal of buying a home, but neglecting some other really important things along the way, particularly the number one thing on my list, travel. As I shared my revelation with my husband, I realized it was more “adventure” than “travel” that I craved. He reminded me that we don’t need to get on a plane to find adventure. We committed to being a little more intentional about mixing some adventure in with our house-hunting process this spring. So far, it’s taken us an hour away to Bainbridge Island to soak in some sunshine, explore local art stores, and indulge in delicious pizza and truffles. It’s taken us just 10 minutes away to explore a new beach that gave us a new angle on our favorite bridge. It’s taken us back to our favorite beach on the other side of Puget Sound to explore it at low tide, where we found 4 starfish and 10 seals. Last weekend, it took us to the Olympic Peninsula to explore new stores and restaurants in a town called Port Angeles. We also completed my first post-surgery hike in Olympic National Park, finding a beautiful lake, beach, and swimming hole along the way. And soon, it will take us back to St. Louis to visit my family so we can play dolls and legos with my niece and nephew – everything is an adventure with them!
This entire experience has reminded me of a learning that first drove me to start a financial blog nearly 12 years ago: You can have fun on any budget. Now isn’t the time for me to visit every country on my bucket list – that time will come – but it has helped me reclaim some energy and enthusiasm about the process.
If you’re working towards a big mountain of a goal and you’re feeling stuck and frustrated, I encourage you to check in with your values. What are those things that you care most about? Are you investing in them right now even as you wait? Can you find creative ways to keep the light shining on those values until you make it to the finish line? I’m so grateful that I realized the values disconnect and that my husband reminded me that there are ways we can live into those values on any budget.
As I continue in this journey of waiting, I’m about to enter an especially busy season. I’m currently under contract with Fortress Press, an imprint of 1517 Media, for a book about alternative financial models for ministry that’s due at the end of the summer. My husband and I hope to buy and move into our new house by fall. And, of course, I’m still focused on recovery from my recent surgery. Given all that is on my plate at the moment, I am going to take an intentional step back from this blog. I look forward to sharing more with you later this year when life is back to a more normal pace again.