What does financial freedom look like for you? For me, it’s the ability to bring up any financial curveball to my spouse knowing that we will handle it together. In our marriage, financial freedom stems from knowing we are on the same team when it comes to money. We may have different strengths and growth areas, and we may not always agree on strategy, but we share the same goal. We know we’re better together taking on issues side by side.
Money can be a thorny topic that pits one spouse against the other — particularly if you have different money personalities. While a financial curveball may be the issue you’re trying to tackle, it’s easy over the course of a bad conversation to make your spouse the problem neglecting the issue at hand. I get it — we used to do this, too. It’s easy to lose focus when you have an unhealthy relationship with money in your marriage.
Our money dates have slowly freed us from this unhealthy relationship with money. While we certainly still slip into former habits at times, our money dates help us find financial freedom as we:
Read the Same Pulse: It’s challenging to be on the same page about money when one of you has all of the financial information and the other has none. Talking about money every month as we check in on our budget and look at our savings grants us access to the same information so we can read the pulse together.
Turn Down the Heat: When you only talk about money when there’s a problem, it’s easy for things to boil over. Talking about money on a regular basis allows us to keep everything on a low simmer. We save any money concerns, questions, or dreams we have until our regular money date, when we’re each in a good frame of mind to focus on them. This allows us to tackle any issue before it gets out of control and anticipate any concerns that may be coming down the pike.
Focus on the Big Picture: Talking about money isn’t about dollars and cents; it’s about creating a fulfilling life together. Believe it or not, most of the time in our money talks isn’t spent looking at the budget. We actually do a lot of dreaming as well as some decision-making and strategizing about how to bring those dreams to life. It’s a good reminder that money isn’t a hurdle standing in our way, it’s a tool that can help us create a fulfilling life.
Reinforce That We’re Better Together: We each have strengths and growth areas when it comes to money. While I, as a financial educator, have a lot of knowledge about money, I’m not the expert on our financial life. The more we talk about money, the more I realize how much better we are at making decisions together. It may take more time, but I find us considering more angles and finding new opportunities I never would have identified on my own.
Deepen Our Intimacy: I think one of the most surprising things is that talking about money openly, honestly, and regularly has not only improved our financial life but deepened our relationship overall. When you have intentional time set aside to take your financial pulse as well as focus on your hopes and dreams for the future, you get more excited about where you are going as a couple. As you begin to set goals, make a plan, and then reach them together, you gain more confidence in yourselves and each other.
Ready to find financial freedom with your spouse? Join my Date Night Club! It’s my recipe for taking the stress out of talking about money with your spouse. I’ll deliver a date fresh to your inbox every month. Now is a great time to join because I’m sweetening the deal: 1 month free, free access to my virtual Love & Money Brunch, and immediate access to my favorite Date Night activity, “Money Mad Libs.” Today is the LAST day to get in on these freebies! You can unsubscribe at any time, so if you find it’s not for you, there’s no pressure. Find out more on my Date Night Club page and sign up today!