Grace Pomroy
Stuck in a Season of Waiting

Lately I feel like I’ve been stuck in a season of waiting. My husband and I have been dreaming of putting down roots in the Pacific Northwest since the first time we visited Oregon seven years ago. While we are just months away from making that goal a reality – we hope to buy a house sometime this summer – we are still in transition. In addition to waiting as we search for the right house, I spent the fall waiting to get an appointment with a doctor about a health concern I was dealing with, spent the winter waiting for medical tests, and am now spending the spring waiting to fully recover from surgery.

Stuck in a Season of Waiting
Grace Pomroy
How to Handle a Big Income Gap in Your ...

It’s not uncommon for couples to have an income gap between partners – in fact, it's the norm. According to data from Morning Consult and Insider, nearly three-quarters of Americans reported they had some income imbalance with their partner before they started dating. And while that imbalance can flip-flop as partners change jobs or receive a raise or bonus, at times it can be significant. This might happen when one partner retires, decides to go back to school, or opts to stay at home with the kids. This might also happen when one partner gets a big promotion or receives a large inheritance. How can you manage your finances so this imbalance in income doesn’t throw your relationship off balance? Consider these steps:

How to Handle a Big Income Gap in Your Relationship
Grace Pomroy
My 6 Favorite Money Psychology Hacks

I’m a big fan of the Financial Feminist podcast. A few weeks ago the host, Tori Dunlap, shared a money hack that she had heard about from another financial educator on Science Finance: Before making an impulse purchase, ask yourself: “How many ‘taco dollars’ does it cost?” That particular financial educator really loved tacos, so he judged each purchase by asking, “How many tacos could I buy for the cost of that item?” Concert tickets: 20 tacos. Cupcake: 1 taco. Fancy hotel stay: 83 tacos. Then, he would ask himself: “Is it really worth that many tacos?”

My 6 Favorite Money Psychology Hacks
Grace Pomroy
The Power of the Icebreaker (Part 2)

My last post on things that can jumpstart your financial life in 5 minutes or less got me thinking  about one of the most effective steps I ever took during our marriage: asking my husband an icebreaker question about our life together. That word icebreaker is key: these are questions designed to get conversation going, not shut it down. And that means the question has to be open-ended and asked with a spirit of genuine curiosity of learning what your partner thinks.

The Power of the Icebreaker (Part 2)
Grace Pomroy
Welcome "The Earner" Money Personality

Long-time readers of this blog are familiar with the four money personalities I discuss: the giver, the saver, the spender, and the acquirer. Over time, though, I’ve learned that while people tend to understand the first three, they often stumble over the last one. On first blush, people generally thought the “acquirer” referred to someone who liked to accumulate or collect things. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The acquirer was someone focused on how money came into their life, not what was done with the money after it was received. 

Welcome "The Earner" Money Personality

money & relationships

Creating a Spending Plan For Two

Creating a Spending Plan For Two

The other day I felt my financial control freak tendencies kicking in again. My husband and I were out on our very first in-person shopping trip since early 2020. We were having a great time with friends shopping at my husband’s favorite menswear store, Jaxon Grey. (Seriously, if you’re ever in the North Loop neighborhood of Minneapolis, check it out — it’s a good one!) Anyway, as we were enjoying our shopping trip, I noticed the stack of clothes starting to pile up. I could feel my anxiety creeping in — yes, this was our first shopping trip in over a year, but did we really need to spend this much? What would the spending from this small shopping trip put into jeopardy?

6 Conversations Every Couple Should Have

6 Conversations Every Couple Should Have

People often ask me: “When do you think you should start talking about money in a relationship?” My response is usually “early and often.” Once you get more serious about forming a partnership with another person, that could be after a few dates or even a few years of dating, I think it’s important that you have conversations about money. People often mistake these conversations as whipping out your budget and talking about the numbers in detail. While I hope that will happen as your financial transparency grows, I often recommend people start by talking about the softer side of money, and moving into talking about the numbers from there.

Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom

What does financial freedom look like for you? For me, it’s the ability to bring up any financial curveball to my spouse knowing that we will handle it together. In our marriage, financial freedom stems from knowing we are on the same team when it comes to money. We may have different strengths and growth areas, and we may not always agree on strategy, but we share the same goal. We know we’re better together taking on issues side by side.

The Power of the Icebreaker: My 9 Favorite Money Conversation Starters

The Power of the Icebreaker: My 9 Favorite Money Conversation Starters

When my husband and I first got married, I was the family money manager. I knew my husband was a little financially anxious, so out of respect to him I kept our money situation to myself — quietly paying bills, making decisions, and working behind the scenes to keep us in the best possible financial position. I resolved to only get him involved if I absolutely had to — namely, when there was a problem. If things were smooth sailing or we had a nice windfall, I could handle that on my own.

Spender vs. Saver

Spender vs. Saver

At a recent Love & Money Brunch, I invited participants to break into groups by their money personalities. Interestingly, most couples were split, each with a spender and a saver. As we discussed the strengths and blind spots of each money personality, there were plenty of playful jabs being tossed from one side to another: “At least I know how to find a good value on a coat rather than wearing one with holes in it.” “Well, someone in the family has to think about our future.” All was said in a kind-hearted way, but there was definitely an undercurrent of tension.

A Sustainable Spin on Valentine's Day

A Sustainable Spin on Valentine's Day

It’s almost Valentine’s Day! Last year, I took a look at how to make your Valentine’s Day more meaningful by giving your partner a gift aligned with their love language. This year, since so many Valentine’s Day marketers seem to emphasize quantity over quality, I invite you to give a gift that lasts — or at least doesn’t end up draining the Earth’s resources. Don’t get me wrong — I love the sweet, slightly cheesy, expressions of chocolate, flowers, jewelry, and cards. But they can also be incredibly wasteful, as they are often cheaply manufactured and quickly thrown away.

Giving Thanks for Vulnerability (Part 2)

Giving Thanks for Vulnerability (Part 2)

The other day my husband texted me about a few different clothing items he was looking to buy to round out his wardrobe. Since any talk about spending makes me a bit anxious, his text set off the panic bells and a stream of irrational thoughts: “Where would this money come from? Would spending in this way get in the way of our savings goals? Did this mean we could no longer be as generous as I wanted our family to be?”

Give Thanks for Vulnerability

Give Thanks for Vulnerability

Who can you be most honest with?

 

About two years ago, a friend from college and I decided to start writing emails back and forth to keep in touch. We had used this technique after college to help us stay connected after she went off to grad school in Colorado and I moved to the Twin Cities, but now that we were living in the same city we still struggled to stay connected other than the once or twice a month we are able to see each other in person. As two introverts, we’ve found there’s a lot we can say in writing that we can’t seem to get into when we meet in person.

Improving Your Partner’s Financial Confidence

Improving Your Partner’s Financial Confidence

For most of the couples I work with, there seems to be one person who’s more money-minded and another who isn’t. In most cases the person who isn’t money minded wants to be a part of the money conversation – they want to set goals together as a couple but they lack the financial confidence to really dig into the numbers with their partner. Similarly, the more money minded partner longs for the partner to be a part of the conversation but they just can’t seem to bring him or her to the table.

When to Bring Up Money in a Relationship

When to Bring Up Money in a Relationship

One of the hazards of dating a financial blogger is that you have to — I mean, get to — talk about money a LOT. Right from the beginning, my now-husband learned that there was no financial topic that was off limits for me. Thankfully, he was a great sport about participating in these conversations. It took us awhile to find an approach that worked for us, but by the time we got married we knew just about every in-and-out about each other’s financial lives.