Talking about the holidays feels a bit odd this year. I haven’t seen my family or my husband’s family in more than ten months and it’s unlikely we’ll be seeing anyone over the holidays. While my husband and I have thought of many ways to make both Thanksgiving and Christmas extra special celebrating with just the two of us this year, we both know it’s not really the same when we can’t share it with those we love.
The pandemic has not only changed the way we meet up for special holidays, but will likely have a profound impact on how we exchange gifts as well. We’ll need to get our holiday shopping done early to make sure gifts have plenty of time to arrive via mail. And as someone who loves to bake for the holidays and share my treats with others, I know it’s unlikely I’ll be able to do that this year either.
In the midst of grieving the disappointments of this year’s holiday season (and I do believe that’s an important part of the process), now is a good time to make a plan, set expectations, and find ways to make this season special even if it’s radically different from years past. A few things to consider:
What Will Your Loved Ones Really Appreciate? While this is a good question to ask every year, I think it’s even more important this year. The shopping, wrapping, and shipping process is just too complicated to tackle for ho-hum gifts! Someone told me recently that everyone in their family will get two gifts: something they want and something they need. I love the simplicity of this idea.
Tip: Don’t underestimate the value of time. This year, the best holiday gift you may be able to give is a FaceTime call with your grandmother, a virtual game night with your family, or a holiday movie “watch party” with your closest friends. As the weather gets colder we’re all likely to feel a bit more lonely, so prioritize spending more time rather than more money on those you love.
How Will You Exchange Gifts? If you aren’t planning to gather together in person, now is the time to think about how you’ll get your gifts to one another. For instance, will you order gifts online and send them directly to each other’s homes? Will you pay for the online store to gift wrap it or leave it be? If you plan to wrap it yourself and send it, are you ok waiting in what will likely be a longer-than-usual line at the store or post office?
Tip: One idea we are considering is sending our gifts directly from the online store to other members of our family who live in the same city or household and seeing if they are willing to wrap them for us. That way we can avoid paying additional shipping and gift wrapping costs, and no one is tempted to open their gifts before Christmas.
How Will You Make Your Holiday Special? Even if it’s just a small family affair this year, think about how you will decorate your home, the food you’ll eat, the games you’ll play, and the people you want to connect with virtually. Maybe this is the year to make some decorations yourself (check out these ideas for Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa). Consider putting up decorations early so you have even more time to enjoy them.
Tip: Not much of a chef? Many restaurants are offering family meals for the holidays. This is a great way to support a struggling business while also giving your family a special treat. Be sure to include this cost in your budget. Even if you don’t want to buy a whole meal, maybe consider buying a few dishes or desserts to cut down on your time in the kitchen and support a business you love.
How Can You Help Those in Need? Between coronavirus, the recession, and racial injustice, there are a lot of people struggling this year. If you haven’t been impacted very much, how might you be generous during this season of giving? You might scale back on your holiday spending this year so you can support a local charity. Or, you might give each person in your immediate family a set amount to give away, and then as you are exchanging gifts, take the time to share what cause you are giving your money to and why.
Tip: You can also invest your time giving back by joining a creative virtual volunteering opportunity or you can even volunteer as a family together from home.
What’s Your Budget? The best time to determine how much money you have to spend on the holidays is before you start shopping. Try to use money you already have (or will have by your December paycheck) to avoid racking up credit card debt. Make a list of people you’ll give gifts to and begin allocating the maximum amount you’ll spend on each person. It’s ok if you don’t hit that maximum! It’s also ok if you choose to spend more on the kids than the adults. And don’t forget: In addition to gifts, be sure to budget for decor, shipping, wrapping, and donations.
Tip: My husband and I budget for Christmas, birthdays, and wedding gifts at the beginning of each year. This allows us to save up a little bit each month toward our big goal. This is especially helpful for us since most of the birthday and holiday gifts in our family fall in the second half of the year, so not saving in advance would really bust our regular budget. If you didn’t use this strategy in 2020, it’s a great one to consider in 2021.
In this month’s Date Night Club we’ll be acknowledging our grief and our hopes for this year’s holiday, and making a financial plan that both spouses can agree on. Haven’t joined Date Night Club yet? It’ll help you take the stress out of money conversations through an icebreaker question, an activity that you can complete in 15 minutes or less addressing this month’s topic, a quick budget check-in, and a way to apply what you’ve learned to your life with money. Join today!