Currently we are in the Christian church’s season of Advent: a season of waiting, hoping, holding space. As I’ve been reflecting on the coming of Christmas this year, one thing in particular has stood out to me: the juxtaposition of how small and yet momentous the occasion of Christmas really is. At face value, the story of a young, unwed, pregnant mother giving birth in a stable is a story that merits no notice. Without the shepherds, angels, or wise men, I’m not sure anyone would have paid much attention — and yet this moment, this birth, changes everything. Because we know all that is to come, we forget how blessedly ordinary the occasion was.
As I reflect back on my own life during this season, I can think of similar occasions that felt so ordinary because they were choices I didn’t put much thought into or routines I engaged in for the millionth time. And yet, these moments, even more so than the special ones that I had so highly anticipated, were the ones that defined my life. Today I’m going to share with you a few of those seemingly ordinary yet extraordinary moments that shifted my life, and my finances, forever.
A Free Dinner
In the fall of 2010, I was in my first week of orientation at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN, where I was pursuing a master’s degree. New students were invited to an optional dinner one night to learn more about financial wellness at seminary. It was definitely the promise of a free meal, not a conversation on finances, that brought me to the table. But I perked up when I heard about the seminary’s free financial coaching program. I was living as a (mostly) financially-independent person for the first time in my life. I knew I could use some pointers so I signed up right away.
This coach changed my life in more ways than one. First, I’m more and more convinced that almost everything I know about the basics of personal finance I learned from her. She taught me how to budget, how to save for emergencies, how to spend in line with my values. She helped me on my journey to live frugally while also spending meaningfully. I started my first financial blog because I felt called to share everything I learned from her with others in my community.
Second, she knew the Director of the seminary’s Stewardship Leaders Program was interested in hiring a student worker for a few hours a week, and she recommended me. A week later I had landed the job. A year and half later, after I had graduated with my master’s degree, I became the Associate Director of the Program. Eight years (and two jobs) later, I returned to the seminary to become Director of this Program — the job that has been the most meaningful and fulfilling of my career so far. My career was irrevocably changed by my hunger for a free dinner, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it.
A Message from An Artist
Fast forward to fall 2011. As I was studying in the seminary library, a message popped up on okcupid (a dating website) from someone named tjpom. He was an art student studying photography. The photos on his profile not only showed me what he looked like but told me something about who he was and how he performed his craft. The photos were introspective and engaging; I could see that he could appreciate being in the city as well as being out in nature. I was immediately intrigued, and wrote back right away. Little did I know this one message would lead to texting over Thanksgiving, talking on the phone over Christmas break, a date right after New Years, moving in together in the spring of 2013, getting engaged over Memorial Day weekend 2013, and getting married in the fall of 2014.
Still, while those traditional dating milestones are meaningful, I am more touched by the way our relationship has grown and our love has deepened over time. Jan. 4, 2022, will be the tenth anniversary of our first date. So much has changed since then — we’ve challenged each other, encouraged each other, comforted each other, and supported one another. We’ve grown as individuals and we have grown together as a couple. A key growth area for us is in the area of finance. When we met, we had very different approaches to handling and using money. Yet we’ve worked hard to develop practices that work for us both. We’ve realized we both care about saving and make it a priority. I’ve found ways to push us toward being more generous while also making sure that generosity respects and represents our mutual values. He’s continually reminded me that it’s healthy to spend money on the things that matter to you and to invest in quality items that will last over time. And it all began with one seemingly ordinary one dating message.
Asking “What If?”
The last moment I’ll share is from summer 2019. My husband and I were driving to Milwaukee to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th birthday. While I think we were both sensing the need for a change in our lives, my husband was feeling it acutely. After his accident in 2018, he’d been through a period of so much “sameness.” The same job, the same recovery exercises, the same routine, the same doctors, the same appointments … he was ready to shake things up! As we drove, I had a harebrained idea: What if we sold our house in the suburbs and moved to an apartment in the city?
As luck would have it, for the celebration weekend we had rented a place in downtown Milwaukee — just the sort of urban flat I had talked about. Staying in the cozy, modern apartment and being able to walk to the lake, coffee shops, and restaurants solidified the idea for us. When we got home we began looking at apartments. Less than a month later we had signed a lease, two months later we had an offer on our house, and a few months after that we were feeling at home in our downtown Minneapolis apartment.
So much of our life changes happen in ordinary, unanticipated moments. What’s your story? Share in the comments below … and here’s to many more extraordinary ordinary moments in the year to come.