Lately I feel like I’ve been stuck in a season of waiting. My husband and I have been dreaming of putting down roots in the Pacific Northwest since the first time we visited Oregon seven years ago. While we are just months away from making that goal a reality – we hope to buy a house sometime this summer – we are still in transition. In addition to waiting as we search for the right house, I spent the fall waiting to get an appointment with a doctor about a health concern I was dealing with, spent the winter waiting for medical tests, and am now spending the spring waiting to fully recover from surgery.
It’s not uncommon for couples to have an income gap between partners – in fact, it's the norm. According to data from Morning Consult and Insider, nearly three-quarters of Americans reported they had some income imbalance with their partner before they started dating. And while that imbalance can flip-flop as partners change jobs or receive a raise or bonus, at times it can be significant. This might happen when one partner retires, decides to go back to school, or opts to stay at home with the kids. This might also happen when one partner gets a big promotion or receives a large inheritance. How can you manage your finances so this imbalance in income doesn’t throw your relationship off balance? Consider these steps:
I’m a big fan of the Financial Feminist podcast. A few weeks ago the host, Tori Dunlap, shared a money hack that she had heard about from another financial educator on Science Finance: Before making an impulse purchase, ask yourself: “How many ‘taco dollars’ does it cost?” That particular financial educator really loved tacos, so he judged each purchase by asking, “How many tacos could I buy for the cost of that item?” Concert tickets: 20 tacos. Cupcake: 1 taco. Fancy hotel stay: 83 tacos. Then, he would ask himself: “Is it really worth that many tacos?”
My last post on things that can jumpstart your financial life in 5 minutes or less got me thinking about one of the most effective steps I ever took during our marriage: asking my husband an icebreaker question about our life together. That word icebreaker is key: these are questions designed to get conversation going, not shut it down. And that means the question has to be open-ended and asked with a spirit of genuine curiosity of learning what your partner thinks.
Long-time readers of this blog are familiar with the four money personalities I discuss: the giver, the saver, the spender, and the acquirer. Over time, though, I’ve learned that while people tend to understand the first three, they often stumble over the last one. On first blush, people generally thought the “acquirer” referred to someone who liked to accumulate or collect things. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The acquirer was someone focused on how money came into their life, not what was done with the money after it was received.
My husband and I agree: One of our favorite trips ever was to Iceland. We were attracted to the mysterious and awe-inspiring landscape as well as the relatively short (and moderately priced) overseas flight. We went into the trip with fairly low expectations and left entirely smitten: The bubbling hot springs, friendly puffins, jaw-dropping waterfalls, welcoming people, and otherworldly landscape captured our hearts. We couldn’t wait to go back, and had plans set for … September 2020.
Honestly, this is the post I needed about five years ago! Tipping (with the exception of what to tip at a restaurant) is something nobody teaches you. Everyone is so busy trying to “leave it up to your discretion” that they provide no guidelines or suggestions. It’s hard to know how to tip when you have nothing to go on.
As a kid, I loved staying at a hotel — especially if it had an indoor pool. But what really amazed me was room service. I would see trays from dinner outside of other people’s rooms or signs hanging off their door for tomorrow’s breakfast order. That was the epitome of luxury. I longed for the day that I’d be able to order it for myself.
About five years ago, I was able to surprise my husband with a little getaway adventure to a historic B&B in Stillwater, MN, about a half-hour from our home. As we got off the highway and caught a glimpse of the river and quaint main street downtown, it felt like we’d traveled to another world. After an amazing dinner at a wine bar, a relaxing night at the B&B, a multi-course breakfast in bed (delivered by picnic basket), and a morning walking around the shops downtown, we felt rested, refreshed, and reconnected to one another. We were back home by Saturday afternoon feeling like we’d fit an entire vacation into one 24-hour period.
If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you’ve figured out that I absolutely love to travel. And you also know that I’m more of a saver than a spender. Those two practices seem at odds, right? I often talk to people who view travel as completely unaffordable. They end up living vicariously through others who are willing to make it happen. But why shouldn’t those great travel stories and experiences be your own?
Ever since I studied French in school, I always dreamed of visiting Paris. I longed to stroll the streets, sit at a café eating a croissant, visit the market to buy all of the ingredients for dinner, and see the famous art in its many museums. I wanted to drink in the sites, the smells, the taste, the culture. So about three years ago, I started putting together a trip to Paris to celebrate my 30th birthday. My husband was quick to get on board – adding that it this would be a good opportunity for him to see the Normandy beaches. As I began telling friends about the idea, we found another couple who was interested in joining us, too.
Summer is officially here! So, I thought I’d bring something a little lighter to the blog. For many people, summer is the season of vacations. As you probably can already tell, I’m a huge travel fan. Adventure is near the top of my husband and I’s values lists. And, I’ve had the blessing of traveling about 30% of the time for my job the last three years so I’ve picked up a few tricks and tips.
