Lately I feel like I’ve been stuck in a season of waiting. My husband and I have been dreaming of putting down roots in the Pacific Northwest since the first time we visited Oregon seven years ago. While we are just months away from making that goal a reality – we hope to buy a house sometime this summer – we are still in transition. In addition to waiting as we search for the right house, I spent the fall waiting to get an appointment with a doctor about a health concern I was dealing with, spent the winter waiting for medical tests, and am now spending the spring waiting to fully recover from surgery.
It’s not uncommon for couples to have an income gap between partners – in fact, it's the norm. According to data from Morning Consult and Insider, nearly three-quarters of Americans reported they had some income imbalance with their partner before they started dating. And while that imbalance can flip-flop as partners change jobs or receive a raise or bonus, at times it can be significant. This might happen when one partner retires, decides to go back to school, or opts to stay at home with the kids. This might also happen when one partner gets a big promotion or receives a large inheritance. How can you manage your finances so this imbalance in income doesn’t throw your relationship off balance? Consider these steps:
I’m a big fan of the Financial Feminist podcast. A few weeks ago the host, Tori Dunlap, shared a money hack that she had heard about from another financial educator on Science Finance: Before making an impulse purchase, ask yourself: “How many ‘taco dollars’ does it cost?” That particular financial educator really loved tacos, so he judged each purchase by asking, “How many tacos could I buy for the cost of that item?” Concert tickets: 20 tacos. Cupcake: 1 taco. Fancy hotel stay: 83 tacos. Then, he would ask himself: “Is it really worth that many tacos?”
My last post on things that can jumpstart your financial life in 5 minutes or less got me thinking about one of the most effective steps I ever took during our marriage: asking my husband an icebreaker question about our life together. That word icebreaker is key: these are questions designed to get conversation going, not shut it down. And that means the question has to be open-ended and asked with a spirit of genuine curiosity of learning what your partner thinks.
Long-time readers of this blog are familiar with the four money personalities I discuss: the giver, the saver, the spender, and the acquirer. Over time, though, I’ve learned that while people tend to understand the first three, they often stumble over the last one. On first blush, people generally thought the “acquirer” referred to someone who liked to accumulate or collect things. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The acquirer was someone focused on how money came into their life, not what was done with the money after it was received.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and watching Netflix on my phone when the screen suddenly turned white. My husband spent hours attempting to revive it, to no avail. It was dead as a doornail. Luckily, we have insurance on our phones, so I was able to put in a claim that night.
Do you ever wish you could hit the “reset” button on your financial life and start over with a clean slate? Wash away any bad decisions or missed opportunities and just start fresh? Today, I want to give you that opportunity. While I don’t have a magic wand to clear out any past debts or obligations, I can give you a strategy to create a new plan for moving forward.
In 2020, I am encouraging the couples in my Date Night Club to start the year by setting just one goal for themselves. You heard me right: just one. And in fact, the easier that goal is to achieve, the better.
Now, I’m not lazy and neither are the couples in my Date Night Club. But I am convinced if they can reach one goal — create one win in their financial life — that will give them the confidence boost they need to propel them forward. It’s a lot like the debt snowball method: paying off the smallest debt first and letting that psychological and financial momentum inspire you to keep tackling your smallest debt until you’ve paid off everything you owe.
