It’s not uncommon for couples to have an income gap between partners – in fact, it's the norm. According to data from Morning Consult and Insider, nearly three-quarters of Americans reported they had some income imbalance with their partner before they started dating. And while that imbalance can flip-flop as partners change jobs or receive a raise or bonus, at times it can be significant. This might happen when one partner retires, decides to go back to school, or opts to stay at home with the kids. This might also happen when one partner gets a big promotion or receives a large inheritance. How can you manage your finances so this imbalance in income doesn’t throw your relationship off balance? Consider these steps:

When my husband and I first met, I was a graduate student working about 15 hours/week and living as frugally as I could. He was an art student who also worked full-time at the front desk of a hotel. I kid you not, I thought my husband was rich. He lived in a 1-bedroom apartment — by himself, with laundry in unit! He even had cable TV. Seriously, what more could you want? Then, about five months into our relationship, my husband left his job at the hotel, and I got my first full-time job with a full-time paycheck. Suddenly the financial roles in our relationship shifted. And navigating those changes wasn’t always easy.

During the pandemic I’ve revisited many of my favorite romantic comedy movies. It seems a recurring theme in 90s rom-coms was a modern Cinderella story: Two people who come from two different economic worlds find each other and live happily ever after. While I always enjoy seeing the way that love crosses chasms, I’m also aware that income disparities between partners can lead to deep rifts in a relationship. In fact, it's often noted as one of the contributing factors in divorce. To be clear, income disparity alone doesn’t cause divorce or break-ups, but when it leads to a power imbalance, problems can arise.